Deceptive family sneaks meat into vegetarian's meals without telling her, refuse to apologize years later: 'They actually did this to humiliate her'

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    AITAH For being mad that my family snuck meat in my food when I was a vegetarian?
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    In high school, I was a vegetarian for a couple of years. I was really into it, not like vegan teacher crazy but more like I just enjoyed being in a community, I'm no longer a vegetarian as an adult though. I overheard my Mother and Grandma laughing and telling something to their friends. Turns out, the whole
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    time I was vegetarian my whole family (Even extended which is like 50 people) had a game where they would see how often they could sneak me meat. Cooking veggies in bacon grease and stuff like that. At birthday parties, family gatherings, thanksgiving, and just dinner at home. It was like an inside joke game for years, and I'm kinda upset. I confronted them but they said they were
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    only doing it for my own good, that I needed more protein, but they kept smiling and giggling to one another about it so it felt like more of a joke. I dunno, maybe it wasn't and they really did do it because they cared, but it still feels mean. They all say I'm being a drama queen for being upset. So I guess what do you think? Am I the a hole for being upset by this or should I just laugh with my family?
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    Mobil... • • 19h ago Edited 19h ago · NTA. It's valid you're upset by this. At the same time, you can't retroactively do anything about it, unfortunately. So pick your battles. Although I would be wary of eating their food, considering the history of food tampering.
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    Also, you may need to help your family understand nutrition. And just basic science. Bacon grease has 0 protein in it. Because it's a fat. Not a protein. It sounds like they think animal products = protein and that plant products can't have protein, and that's just horribly inaccurate.
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    ETA: To be clear, the comment about teaching their family about protein was sarcasm because they actually did this to humiliate her, not give her protein. Although OP could give them science/nutrition lessons as a tongue in cheek way to insult them.
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    . DankVapor 19h ago • NTA - Make some brownies and bring them over. Let everyone eat but you don't eat. When they ask, "Because I know what's in them," and do not elaborate further and just go home.
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    . Money... 19h ago · Edited 19h ago • • That's plain disrespectful. As a vegetarian I am very conscious of what I'm eating, incorporating foods high in vitamins, minerals and protein. I get annual bl d tests and I am very healthy. If people started sneaking meat into my food I would find it a violation of ethics and I wouldn't be able to trust them anymore.
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    Maybe sneaking some laxatives under the guise of helping them clear their digestive systems would help them understand *edit: the laxatives comment was meant to be tongue in cheek I guess I'm naive to think anyone would take that seriously!
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    • finalgirlsam 19h ago NTA and I mean, no offense, but those members of your family are mean little sociopaths. What else have they been doing to you secretly over the years? If you developed a food allergy would they think you were faking it and try and poison you?
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    blueswan6. 19h ago. Part ipant... Top 1% Comme... NTA It's a about respect, which they didn't have for you. I would tell them that this really changes how you view them and your relationships with them. Hold them accountable, whenever they say they're being truthful just point out that you can't really know that because they have a history of lying to you. You don't have to get mad, just be upfront that you see them differently now and that's their fault.
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    DJ_Too_Supreme_AITA • 20h ago • NTA. Um, it is wrong to tamper with other people's food. I don't see how putting things into your food without your knowledge is funny or is a "joke"
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    . KnottyKitty 19h ago. I've been vegetarian for 20+ years and I would be absolutely livid if I found out someone had done that to me. That would be a no-contact situation. Honestly it's not even about the meat. Messing with someone's food is really f ed up. Messing with someone's food over a long period of time as some kind of sick "game" and openly laughing at you about it is even worse. They betrayed your trust FOR FUN.
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    You're absolutely NTA and I hope you're able to find a group of people who aren't ab ive psychopaths.
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    . Tinycupcakees • 19h ago • NTA. Sneaking meat into your food was disrespectful, even if they thought they were helping. Your feelings are valid.
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    Cali-GirlSB 19h ago. • Wow, your family is mean. Just, behavior that is just childish and mean. 'Doing it for your own good?' No, just to be.. I can't even pull out a metaphor that explains my disgust with them. NTA.
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    WhereWeretheAdults 19h ago. NTA. You should be very upset. They lied to you and used you for their own amusement. You are not some thing they can toss around in their little private game. You are a real person who deserves respect. Your family, in mass, decided you don't get any respect, that you are just theirs to do with what they please.
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    Now they are lying to you. The "It's for your own good" is a justification bu ies use to keep their victims coming back. They bu ied you, plain and simple. You should be very upset about this mistreatment, disrespect, and contempt from your family. Look at it this way. If you were vegan in a relationship and your BF laughed with his friends about sneaking meat into your food, would you still be in that relationship? They get the same standard.
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    . ilikeshramps 19h ago Absolutely NTA. They're absolutely in the wrong for doing that. They didn't respect your dietary choices and decided to trick you into breaking them for their own entertainment. That's disgusting and a great way to ruin trust and birth new doubts about previous interactions.
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    exoskeletal • 19h ago • This would bother me forever. It's wild they did that and don't understand how violating it is. I would not trust them anymore. Who knows what other "jokes" they share about you. Or what they'll do behind your back "for your own good." Yikes. Wouldn't trust them with any future kids if you have them either.

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